Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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