She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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