I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
