We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
