you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
