alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
