Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
