Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
