And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
