what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
