are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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