I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
