I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
