I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
