Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
