lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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