Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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