dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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