What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
