Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
