In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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