I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
