I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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