Where did you get a picture of my penis
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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