thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
