Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
