And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
