So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
