She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
