Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
