'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
