I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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