I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
