Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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