Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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