Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
