So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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