the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
should my penis look like a turkey
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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