Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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