See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
