i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
