im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I could make wine with my vomit
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
