My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
