so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
