Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
