I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
