so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
