Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
