I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
