And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
