ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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